Chicken NOW Is Watching!

Today's lunch led to some divisive spatting between R and B, when R announced she was ditching the TSquared crew in favor of eating lunch with her mysterious "sister." B announced that R's role as TSquared president was on the precipice, and it wouldn't take much more non-joining from her to be pushed over the end into culinary oblivion, forced instead to eat noodles in garlic water at her desk until the end of days. J suspects a struggle for power is in play, and he's staying out of it.

Lunch today consisted of a trip to Westfield Shoppingtown Southcenter (where else?), where both J and B selected Panda Express as their culinary choice? Why, you may ask, dear reader? Because running the cash register was none other than Mui, a long lost favorite of yesteryear, whom J had written off as a casualty of the destruction of the original, hope-I-don't-get-shot-here, Southcenter food court. Mui seemed slightly subdued, as if she had taken a Quaalude before working another shift at her awful, awful job, but B was still beside himself.

The food was fairly unmentionable, but the conversation was scorching, with J putting forth his theory that Chicken NOW was acutally a shadowy government organization, using Granny's secret dippin' sauce as a conduit to feed their mind control drugs to the unwashed masses. B corroborated this theory, adding they served their food in black boxes that appeared possibly to be CIA-issue standard. Fortune smiled on B and J in the form of cookies, with B's fortune prophetizing his winning smile might finally get him a date, and J's suggesting he blame any future work failings on a computer malfunction.

While leaving the mall, J and B were fairly certain that they were followed in a black car by sinister-looking Chicken NOW agents.

Food 2.5/5

Good times 3.5/5

Conspiracy theories 5/5

Comments

The Jack Shack

We've all been either too busy or too lazy to write about our lunchtime adventures, but know this - we have had lunches - some were fabulous, others were sadly disappointing (Mali Thai) and at least one was down-right scandalous (Joey's). So to make up for the long absence, I'll thrill you with our adventure to: Joeys (their apostrophe is missing, not mine)... Even though I was warned , I had to see it for myself. Joey's is Cowboy Ugly and the Pussy Cat Dolls Lounge all rolled into one, great-big southend jack shack. To get the full effect, we sat in the bar where all the waitresses are 1. Former female strippers, 2. Current female strippers, and 3. Really know how to sex up an entree so you'll want to buy it. At first, I was overcome with the smart, sleek interior design. I felt like I was at The Parker in Palm Springs . The architecture is open and modern, the colors hip, and the booths are sleek. I was so busy ogling the fabulous design that I didn't even s...

A Fondlin' Frau

B and I visited the Pita Pit today. The scene there was the everyday usual: Frau Farbissina yelling back meat orders, line cooks scurrying around fulfilling requests, brown lettuce. At the register, Frau asked if we'd ever been to the Pit before. How long will it take until she recognized us? I mean, really - how many times do you need to patronize a place before the people who work there recognize you? I ordered the tuna pita because I wanted to hear Frau yell it back to the line: bringoutthe tu-NAH!, but instead, she whispered it to a passing line employee: bringoutthetuna. We should have known right then that today was going to be different. The visit went from annoying to awkward when I went to use the restroom. Frau gave me a key to the bathroom door which was shaped more like a swizzle stick than a door key. She warned me that it sometimes gets stuck, but I figured, how hard could it be? I pushed the stick into the hole (this is where it starts) and Frau began to shout inst...

Lunching with the Enemy

I know it's unusual, and maybe even a bit on the unholy side, but B and I had lunch with the Bird Killer today at Taco Del Mar. Lunching with the enemy is not usually something I would even consider, however, we did get to ride in his so-called "premium-luxury sports car for young, aggressive males" although, the car was neither premium-luxury (I think that description expires after 10 years, BK), nor was he young and aggressive since he's pushing 40, and it took us 20 minutes to get back from the Southcenter area, which is usually only a 10 minute drive. He also demonstrated how to wrap a baby in the "Mummy Swaddle" using a bottle of hot sauce and a paper napkin, which was both weird and amusing. So at least lunchtime entertainment was different from the usual, and all of this makes for semi-interesting blog writing. The Taco Queen is still MIA, though we're starting to think she has been dethroned and a new, Evil Taco Queen is standing in her place. Al...

Tummy Tukwila

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