Tuesday, November 25, 2008

LL Lunching

Thanksgiving is only two days away, so most of my coworkers are already out. And since Southcenter mall is still fresh from its 3rd shoot-out in 10 years - it is the return of the Lonely Lesbian Lunch - safe at my desk in the Compound!

Today's hot water and noodles is flavored with mushrooms. Delicious.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 21, 2008

The Boob Booth?

Hi Folks-It's Friday and we've run out of the proverbial "steam" when it comes to creative lunch ideas, so where did we go? Blue C---kidding...Chipotle.

As always, I promised not to order a wonderfully delightful chicken burrito with yum-0 bacon pinto beans, and I finally came through!! I had the fajita burrito bowl. I must say that although I cut out about 350 calories without the tortilla, I missed the wrapping. The burrito "snuggle factor" was missing. Don't get me wrong, the bowl was delicious- but a burrito without a tortilla is like a body without underwear.

Speaking of underwear, J, R and I were lucky enough to sit in the lone booth at the South Center location. The question is- is it a booth or a boob?

I thought all the boobs were at Joey's. :)

Food: 4.5/5
Atmosphere: 5/5 (men in uniform were present)
Boob times: 5/5

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Jack Shack

We've all been either too busy or too lazy to write about our lunchtime adventures, but know this - we have had lunches - some were fabulous, others were sadly disappointing (Mali Thai) and at least one was down-right scandalous (Joey's). So to make up for the long absence, I'll thrill you with our adventure to:

Joeys (their apostrophe is missing, not mine)...

Even though I was warned, I had to see it for myself. Joey's is Cowboy Ugly and the Pussy Cat Dolls Lounge all rolled into one, great-big southend jack shack. To get the full effect, we sat in the bar where all the waitresses are 1. Former female strippers, 2. Current female strippers, and 3. Really know how to sex up an entree so you'll want to buy it.

At first, I was overcome with the smart, sleek interior design. I felt like I was at The Parker in Palm Springs. The architecture is open and modern, the colors hip, and the booths are sleek. I was so busy ogling the fabulous design that I didn't even see all the girls walking around in leather and lace (Chef - I swear it).

Which brings us to our waitress, we'll call her Paris.

Paris was wearing a black-laced boustia and a pair of skinny, black jeans. She was pretty in the sort of way that all girls working a pole are pretty - distractingly so. When I asked her about the difference between the appetizer fish tacos and the entree fish tacos, she told me that the entree has a lot of girth. As soon as she said it, you could see she regretted it. We weren't her usual type of customer - words like girth were not likely to increase her tip. J, B and I all tried like crazy not to burst out into laughter.

Speaking of girth... the majority of customers at Joey's are single, desperate-looking, cruisey and predatory men who sit at the bar, or alone in a booth - and S T A R E. It was creepy, but if you're the kind of guy (or gal) who is lonely for female attention - Joey's is for you. All the waitresses there are experts at making every lonely-looking customer in the place feel like she's just SO excited to see you!

But don't take it from me - go experience it yourself.

A note about those tacos: they were fan-dam-tastic! I highly recommend them.

Food: 5/5
Atmosphere: 3/5 (minus two for feeling like I was at a high-class Hooters)
Good-times: 5/5 (girth has become the new buzz-word around the office)

Friday, November 7, 2008

Crab with a K and other fun times

On the suggestion of one of our readers: M - J and I hit the all-you-can-eat sushi belt at O Sushi. My first impression: a casino buffet in Reno, Nevada.

Now, the food was pretty good - especially great for those of you who love sushi, but hate raw fish. There were numerous iterations of the California Roll (deep fried, with chicken katsu, with BBQ sauce, with spicy sauce, deep fried with BBQ and spicy sauce, etc.), and very few rolls with raw fish. Since J and I were sitting about 14 down from the beginning of the belt, the people ahead of us were getting the good rolls before us.

J ate many a plate of chicken katsu (one extra plate just to wash down a bad-tasting spicy tuna roll), and also sampled the gamut of California rolls. It was probably the first time in T2 history that J has eaten more sushi than me, though his 6 plates to my 4 were due to the fact that I'm highly allergic to avocado, and nearly every roll had some.

Maybe what was Reno-creepy about O Sushi was the decor: it is strangely different from other decor in the Southcenter area - dark, and even kind of fancy in a 70s sort of way. Or maybe it was the player piano and the mysterious, invisible tambourine? Or maybe it was the oodles customers, who were most likely in Tukwila on business (O Sushi is located in the belly of the I-5 Best Western), bellied up to the sushi belt who couldn't stop staring at us?

Anyway, all you can eat California rolls for $8.95 is a pretty great deal, and since the food was better than Sushi Land, I could see myself there again.

Today B, J, the Bird Killer and myself went to Mali Thai where the food was horribly soggy, the wait staff are no longer hot, and the service was manic. We should probably stick to Simply Thai... We attempted to make it all better with some fro yo at ceFiore, and for a time - it helped.

O Sushi scores:
Food: 3/5
Atmosphere: 3/5
Good times: 2/5 (the staring and bad tuna makes it less fun)