Tummy Tukwila

The Frau and B have something in common - they both prefer bad boys. Today at the Pita Pit, the Frau was all over some poor guy and his tattoos. She actually left the register to get to this guy so she could fondle his tattoos. Either the woman has some serious juevos, or a complete lack of perception about people's personal space. Speaking of - to my great relief (literally), the lock on the bathroom door has been changed from a terribly, difficult pinhole, to a standard no-instructions-needed key hole. Thanks, Pita Pit! In other news - it's much cooler in Tukwila today.

It's time again for Hot Dogs & Angels ! Stuff your chowder-hole with hot dogs and punch! Play "Which dot in the sky is a Blue Angel?"! Compete for fabulous prizes! Hmmm... nothxbuhbye. After last year's embarrassingly anticlimactic hot dog eating contest, where the contestants gingerly nibbled at their hot dogs, while the winner won by barely eating 4, I'll be at the Pita Pit where playing " Stick the key in the hole, and wiggle it around " with Frau Farbissina is somehow more exhilarating.

Stupid. This weather is stupid. B said that someone here at the Compound was threatening to call the police on this weather. I agree - let's have this weather arrested for impersonating Phoenix, Arizona. Today we were forced to go to Blue C Sushi - the food is cold and so is the service (we still miss you DeDe... wherever you are). It's too hot to type, so I'll leave you with this: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=icebergs&form=QBIR&qs=n #

B is out of the office this week, so today J and I ventured up to White Center for some Tacos Guaymas - I was in need of some Mexican food therapy after having a hectic week at the Compound. Guaymas is always a good choice for fast Mexican food - it's about as authentic as you can get being 2,000 miles from the border of Mexico. I had a veggie burrito, J had something new for a change - chicken tamales. And although the chips tasted like they were fried in month-old oil, and then left to sit in a dark, dank drawer in the storage closet, the food was excellent. Afterwards, we walked over to a new ice cream/arcade in White Center called Full Tilt . Full Tilt, like Molly Moon, offers weird ice cream concoctions (cardamon, horchata, and the flavor of the month for everyone one making anything around town - salted caramel) in a video arcade of the 1980s setting. I had the horchata and J got the Blue Moon and mint chocolate chip - all were deelish and highly recommended. We were there f...

Good, Lord! Is that meat in that delicious-looking burger? No... heck no. It's the black bean burger at Zippy's in West Seattle, and it is some unholy goodness. If you can get past the strange location (next to a weird quicky mart, across from a fire station, in the middle of a seedy neighborhood), this is a seriously excellent find. I've been driving past this place every night for the past year, and lately they've had a line out the door that would make Molly Moon jealous. I kept wondering what the heck, and then my friend, GQ suggested we go there after a grueling, hot run around Lincoln Park. I was feeling adventurous, and she was paying, so naturally, I was in. Turns out that Zippy's is this funky little burger joint, with walls filled with burger paraphernalia of a time gone by (remember when Happy Meals came in cardboard carriers?), and killer hamburgers. Oh, and if you love onion rings? These babies bite all the way through - no pulling out soggy onion strin...

Yesterday, B and I went to Blue C with the Bird Killer. Because he's easy to manipulate, BK was made to drive us in his young, aggressive male, luxury, sport sedan that is nearly 10 years old, covered in bird droppings, tree sap and pollen, and is growing spider webs in the back seat - where I had to sit. What in the heck? BK - you cart your family around in your Spidey mobile, for the love of birds - take it to the Brown Bear already! After an incredible escape from a spider nest on wheels, I ate sushi. Let me tell you - Blue C is not like it was. The T2 crew no longer receive the celebrity treatment when they walk in the door, this is probably due to the fact that the entire staff has switched over, and have no clue to the fun we had there with DeDe, Pink Shirt Guy, Michael and the Lesbian. Neither do they know what shook down last March . I suppose it's a good thing - it offers a fresh start... right? There could be another DeDe type, there could be more goodness, star treat...

For the month of June, T2 was on vacation. But now we're back and looking forward to reviewing outdoor seating, food just beyond the Tukwila line, and bringing you new and exciting T2 characters and guest contributors. Nothing happened today, unless you count the Restaurant City avatar that served J and I at Mali Thai.

Today, we have a special report from faithful (and intrepid) reader, M. on the Riverside Casino: Today I rolled the dice and had lunch at the Riverside Casino. Thai Curry Chicken Fried Rice was highly recommended to me by someone....that I can only assume doesn't eat out much. I mean the guy raved about this dinner and I just don't get the hub-bub. But they do have pad t hai and I'm a sucker for pad t hai so I might actually venture back one day. Their parking lot is packed lunch & dinner hours and I mean PACKED! I don't feel I have solved the mystery is it food or the card games? On a positive note, the service was fast. You will not get a seat at the Baccarat table - that area is non-stop action from open to close, but the restaurant portion has plenty of open tables if you go before 1pm. The place is open 24/7 and serves breakfast, lunch or dinner anytime. No website. The place does not smell like smoke - it had a recent remodel and is decent. And I have easil...

This past week I've been in my home town, Salt Lake City, Utah. A lot has changed here, but thank goodness, one thing has remained the same: the Iceberg in Draper. When I was eight years old, I was on a all-boys baseball team. Anytime we won a game, our coach would take us to the Iceberg for burgers and shakes. It is one of those happy childhood memories that incredibly, has stayed trapped in time. I ordered what I always had - fish fillet sandwich, hand-cut fries, and a hand-mixed, hot fudge, banana shake. It's a heart attack in a sack for sure, but since it's a rare occasion, I indulged. If you're ever passing through cow town, Draper, Utah - stop in. It's been there since 1960, and judging by endless stream of Mormons stopping in for ice cream (aka: Mormon foreplay), it'll be there for a long time still.

mmmm.. garlic water....

Today's treat was Annie Chun's Udon Noodle Soup. It was sort of flavorless, and I much prefer the original LL lunch - garlic water and noodles from Trader Joes. T2 has been busy traveling the world, but a quick synapsis of the past happenings: Blue C: now with a whole lot of unknown faces - has the lesbian quit his job? He was no where in sight... stay tuned. A visit to BJ's where The Chef attempted to eat her weight in soup and salad, only to be blocked by the over-salted, watery soup choices. And a forgettable pre-Cinco de Mayo, free from swine flu celebration lunch at Azteca. Not much happening here... but stay tuned - faithful reader M. is in the field and will be reporting on just what all the fuss is about at the Riverside Casino lunch buffet.

B is sitting here with Power Woman with a few additional (lesser known) details concerning the past two lunch events. 1. At Claim Jumper our server attempted to strong arm Power Womon to gain control of an extra cup of potato cheddar soup. PW attempted to charm our obviously un -interested server into letting her keep the extra soup, however he did not relent. Of course the Birdkiller got involved, since the extra cup of soup would potentially be free, however the server stood firm. He's wasted at Claim Jumper, he should be working at the US mint. 2. Birdkiller kept using inappropriate language at our Simply Thai lunch. Poo-poo, pee-pee, chi-chi, tee-tee, whoo -ha. Stop with the baby talk BK! The BK would also like all pregnant women to turn their car's air bags off. It's apparently very dangerous. Who knew BK is gunning to be the new Dr. Spock? 3. During the CeFiore "Cops" incident, I swear that the female was mad at the male due to his laughter at her orde...

It's the second day in a row that B, Power Womon, Bird Killer and I all had lunch together. This time we all met at Simply Thai for some bomb-diggity Simply Thai Noodles. B and I were surprised that the PW even wanted to go to Thai, everyone knows that the Power Womon only eats small amounts of meat and fruit from places like Red Robin. But she agreed to go, and even drove us there. It was a big step for PW, and we were proud. B and I are always trying to encourage PW to try new foods. Today, she ordered the chicken and pineapple fried rice (note: meat and fruit), and when it arrived, she spent a good 5 minutes moving all the ingredients around on the plate, sifting through the vegetables, rice and egg for those bits of meat and fruit. She looked at a sweat pea pod and asked: "What is this, edamame?" B said, "No, it's a pea pod - try it, you'll like it." PW cautiously licked the side of the pod, carefully bit it in two, chewed, chewed, and then proclaim...

What the heck? Apparently, my mobile posts aren't working... what I was trying to say was - "We are on our way to Claim Jumper for a Power Womon celebration, sitting in the back seat - it's me, PW and the Bird Killer . Each left-hand turn gets a CORNER! and the opportunity to squish the BK. Good times: 5/5 so far!" Lunch at Claim Jumper took a very loooong time. It took us 45 minutes to get food, and when it came, it was just okay. The waiter was mostly hands-off and during the 90 minutes we were there - he came by maybe 4 times - and 2 of those were to either get or bring our order. For dessert PW ordered a chocolate chip calzone and graciously shared it with the table. Even though it was so undercooked that PW was nearly able to blow a bubble with the raw, doughy center, it was still pretty good. The highlight - PW confronting the BK about him spreading rumors about her sexuality. The lowlight - reading the calorie content of all the dishes at the Claim Jumper... y...

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Because some idiot scheduled J and I in a 12:30pm meeting, we were forced into an hourly worker's lunch today. And because J can't eat at TDM (one of the best, fastest lunches in town) without becoming violently ill, we hit up the Pita Pit. Today the Pit was on backward. The Frau was not at the register - - she was rolling pitas. And the guy who is usually rolling pitas - - was at the register. It had the same kind of feeling as putting your underwear on inside out by mistake (or on purpose - I'm not going to judge you). The roller - with his one job - couldn't call out the orders properly - chickenCeSAR! was more like CHICKEN-cesar. And the Frau cannot (and should not) roll a decent pita to save her life. All the "honey" and "sweetie" in the world only creates an awkward diversion as she drowns your hummus pita in Dijon mustard, it doesn't make it any sweeter to eat. And while the she's busy distracting you with pet names, she's murderi...

B moved one step closer to the grave over the weekend, so the T2 crew decided to push him over the edge by clogging his arteries with fried food today. The chosen venue for this cholesterol-fest was Elliott Bay Brewing Company in Burien, an establishment raved about by B & R, but one never before frequented by J. The posse was joined by special guest diner, The Chef, who was rocking a totally cute new short haircut. J first started to suspect the veracity of the claims of culinary delirium by R & B when they pulled into a strip mall parking lot full of stores with the names like La Preciosa, and a travel agency with a window full of scary carousel horses and a fully decorated Christmas tree. Despite these misgivings, J gamely soldiered on, and entered the restaurant. EBBC is austere in appearance, decorated with lots of square furniture and sharp corners. The dining room is dark and the tables are oddly arranged with some sort of weird seperation dividing the senior citizens f...

Happy Birthday, B! For B's birthday, T2 and The Chef took a trip up to Burien for the best Burien find: Elliot Bay Brewing Company. B spotted a giant Bavarian pretzel on the menu for which his heart was hungry, so we ordered it. When I was thinking giant pretzel, I pictured a pretzel about the size of a dinner plate. Instead - it was bigger than The Chef's head - really. Very tasty and well worth the $6.95, though a note to EBBC - we'd like to see more of a sauce selection - - maybe butter and/or honey? The service was below par - our waitress surprised us with passion fruit scented iced tea (J made an enemy in her when he demanded that she take it back and replace it with a diet soda). And as far as atmosphere goes - it's usually a fine place, but today there were paintings on the wall that J deemed racist - I suppose he'll have to say why exactly, but my guess was that the people depicted looked like they had been objectified for the artist's personal gl...

I really thought B was wiping away tears when we realized that the Taco Queen was standing behind the line at the Southcenter Taco Del Mar. Welcome back, Taco Queen. We noticed your court works harder to keep the place in order when you're around. Side note: it appears my royalty is finally being recognized. The Taco Queen knelt before me and picked up the napkin that had dropped out of my lap. That's right, I'm the Taco Empress ... kneel before me! In other Tukwila news: B had to go to the post office to deliver a package to his grandmother. I've got to say that the Southcenter post office is the worst I've ever been in. If you want to have a depressing lunch hour, hit up the Saddest Subway in America, and then stop by the Saddest Post Office in America - - on tax day. The worst part came when we were treated to these lovely slacks. Look, even if these pants are on sale, even if they are the last pants in the world, even if you are in your underwear - please ...

The Tace Queen has come back to us! R and I went to TDM for free taco day. On our way, I used the power of positive thinking and visualized the Taco Queen behind the taco counter, and there she was! Holiday! Celebrate!